67 Days and Counting

My first post!
On the one hand, I don’t know why I’ve waited so long and on the other, wondering why start now?
But here I am, for whatever it’s worth.

It’s been 67 days since my last drink-which I didn’t enjoy.

After stopping for a month, I talked myself into buying a bottle of wine.
Even on the way to the store, I was talking myself into it.
Got home, opened it and it tasted like SHIT!
That was January 3rd.

Other than a few nostalgic cravings, I have had no desire to drink.

This was a long time coming!
45 years as a matter of fact! Ouch! That really makes me cringe when I see that!
I started drinking at 15 and pretty much carried on until 67 days ago.
Oh, I had several periods where I’d quit for a month-do a cleansing, etc.
But never for good-and as I never had any children, didn’t even have that 9 month break that so many have.

Now let me be clear-while of course EVERYONE I know knows me as a big Wino,
I ran a pretty stressful business, worked out, looked good, blah, blah, blah…
But I was secretly doing what so many do-not sleeping, going through intense mental anguish on a daily basis, saying that I wasn’t going to drink that day and ending up with a bottle of wine at the end of it.
I have kept a journal forever.
I write in it almost every day.
I was getting sick of writing about my drinking. Over and Over and Over!
Journal after journal, year after year.

So, suffice it to say, thinking about quitting was a constant with me.
Of course I could always find a reason to put it off.
BUT! Something happened that really shook me.

I knew something serious was going on with the mother of a Facebook friend.
And then, on Thanksgiving morning she died.
This is what happened.
She suddenly turned jaundiced and was rushed to the hospital.
She started to go into kidney failure, she rallied for a time.
She died in a months’ time.
She was 56 years old.
I know she drank-don’t know how much or how long. I don’t know what symptoms she had that she ignored-if any.
She was a good wife, a good mother, a keenly intelligent person with lots of awards, and respected in her community.
That could be me.
So, I stopped.

I did have some drinks between Christmas and New Years-non of which tasted good.

And, here I am at 67 days.

I’ll stop now.
I really just wanted to find a starting point so that I could go on to what’s been happening during this process.

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