This process-this Healing as I like to call it, feels very personal to me.
I prefer to see it as Healing as opposed to Recovery.
I suppose they both mean basically the same thing, but the word “Healing” feels softer, more loving.

I see this process of “healing” as a very personal one.
Yes, I’m writing a public blog (but who knows if anyone will ever see it?-doesn’t matter) And yes, I am physically not doing something that most people connect me with-that would be holding a wine glass in my hand! Or a Martini. Or a Margarita….

So while much of this process is very public-especially for those that attend 12 step programs or other group related sobriety activities, it’s still on a much deeper level, extremely personal.

Maybe because in this instance I am really caring for myself.
Learning to care for myself.
Learning to care about myself.
Learning to nurture myself.

I am also the creator of this healing.
Although I have external sources of help and support, in effect, I am both the doctor and the patient.
I am the healer. The healing has to come from within-and heal down to and from a cellular level.

As a noun, the word healing means the process of becoming sound or healthy again.
As an adjective it means tending to heal.

I am learning to become sound and healthy. I am healing.
I am healing physically from years of abusing my body and mind with alcohol.
I am also healing from the old hurts and wounds that were the beginning of the cycle of abuse-which in turn aids the healing from the addiction.
I am creating a way of maneuvering in this big, crazy world on my own terms without being influenced by an addiction.

I am healing from an addiction.

This differs from many 12 step programs that say one can never heal from an addiction.
“Once an addict, always an addict”.   I don’t believe that. Yes, I do believe that we can have addictive tendencies-EVERYONE can and probably does to some extent, have addictive tendencies.
But to believe that I will always be an addict, says to me, that I can never heal. That I will always have an oozing wound that can open up at any time.
That I will never be sound or healthy again.
I prefer the scar tissue that comes from healing.

Because this is my creation, my healing
There is a sacredness about it.
This is why it’s personal.

heal·ing
ˈhēliNG/
noun
noun: healing
1 1. 
the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again.”the gift of healing”
adjective
adjective: healing
1 1. 
tending to heal; therapeutic.”a healing experience”
2 synonyms:
3 alleviate, ease, assuage, palliate, relieve, help, lessen, mitigate, attenuate, allay