I wanted to check in because I haven’t posted for awhile. Still here-well actually I’m in Mexico. My happy place. My SO wanted a break and wanted somewhere he could just relax and read. So here we are! After 13 years together Mexico is kind of growing on him!
I too have had a lot going on. My best friend’s sister died. She had asked me if I would drive into Houston to take her mother shopping last Tuesday- for something to wear to the funeral. I said of couse! And made the 3 hour drive. I was so happy that they asked and that in some small way I was able to help out. I spent a couple of hours with the woman who tolerated all of me and my BFF’s highjinks as we were growing up. When we got back, my friend took me into see her sister. To see this once vibrant, strong woman so close to death was extremely sad. To be honest, I haven’t seen many people that close to death. My 92 year old mother died of old age- not ravaged by Cancer. I don’t know if she knew I was there, but I stroked her leg and told her that I loved her. She died around midnight. The funeral was on Friday and it was sad. 59 is too young to die. I may sound selfish, but the timing was good in the sense that I was able to be there for my friend and hold her during the lowering of the casket.
Before the service, my friend told me that her 18 year old son had come home drunk the night before. I commented that that was how we would have handled it. She asked if that was a reason to let it pass. No.
And as hard as it was, I am so thankful that not only did I go through it soberly- but that I have the small amount of sobriety that I do. Because even dealing with the harshness of her death, there was a vitality of life. An undercurrent of and for living. Living a life not hungover. Living a life where our senses aren’t dulled by excessive alcohol or substance abuse. Yes, painful at times. But under that is that subtle undercurrent of Life. Definitely not something I want to consciously cut off. Feeling the whole spectrum of this precious life we have been given is a gift. And we never know just when it will end.