Owning It

Published on by freefallingintoasoberlife

I surpried myself today.  It seems that we all go through a stage of when we are wondering just when,how and if we should declare that we are no longer drinking.  Even after the time I’ve not been drinking, I haven’t really made any declaration to people.  It’s just kind of come out at random times with a few people-most of whom don’t have a problem with alcohol.  I guess,even not consciously knowing it, I felt safe enough with these few to say something.  And to be honest, I haven’t received any kind of negative or judgemental reaction.  Maybe a “Why”? I say I just felt it was time and that’s been that.

Well, today!!  We live in a condo in a nice, diverse neighborhood.  As I walk a lot and walk my dog a lot, I know many neighbors-both in my condo and in the neighborhood itself.  I have one neighbor, that lives here in my condos.  She’s probably in her 60’s-nice. I think she drinks a lot.  I can’t say I’ve ever seen her drunk, but she’s always putting together Happy Hours, Wine Down Thursdays, things like that.  And, takes one to know one, right?

So, I see her today on my dog walk.  We chat a bit and I’m telling her about an upcoming trip that I’m taking (more later).  We start going our separate ways-in different directions.  And as she’s walking away, she says, “Have something with Lime in it” I reply, “I’ll have a lemonade.” She says, “Put some Gin in it!” I say in a pretty loud voice as we are getting farther away from each other, “I QUIT DRINKING!”  Well, that stopped her in her tracks!  Said, “Even wine?” Like wine doesn’t count!  Wouldn’t that be great! So I said,“Yes, even wine”. She asked how I felt.  I said GREAT! That I felt really, really good. And, she went on her way. After I walked away, I realized that we had pretty much been shouting to each other. I came to the conclusion that the Universe is ready for me to own it.  I will not however, be going around shouting out to the world that I no longer drink.  I think “owning it” in this case is more about the shift that has occurred and continues to occur in the core of my being.  It’s a good thing.

On another note, I had a great Birthday yesterday! My SO and I used to cook for and feed homeless people every Sunday for years.  No matter what.  Sometimes as many as 200 meals. (I’ll also add, that often, I was probably almost as hungover as some of the people that I was feeding!)  Anyway, because I gave up my commercial kitchen space, we had to stop. So, spontaneously and sporadically, I will make sack lunches and drive to areas where I know there are homeless people and hand them out.  I say sporadically, except on my Birthday.  It’s something that I like to do on my birthday.  So I did it yesterday. I don’t ask, I don’t judge.  If someone is too stoned for food, I make sure that they take the water-yesterday it was 102 here!

I watched Spain lose their game in the Euros (:  We went to an upscale sports bar and watched Argentina win 🙂  We sat at the bar for a couple of hours where I ate like a 13 year old and drank Cherry Lemonade, not once bothered by all the cocktails being shaken, or the pints being pulled or the wine being poured. We left at half time. Got home in time for the second half which I watched in my PJs eating my Sea Salt Caramel Truffle Gelato out of the carton.

It’s all good! Bowing to you all and wishing you Love.

Sack lunches

9 thoughts on “Owning It”

  1. WOW! When I was sober for five years, I had been thinking about giving out food to the homeless on the weekends, but I thought that people would think that I was crazy. By your post, I found out that I was actually on to something. Thank you for the share, it really got me thinking about it again and I am so happy that you are sober. :O)

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    1. Don’t you give a S*** about what other people think! When we used to feed people on Sunday’s, we went to where the Salvation Army is as well as another Shelter. We chose that area because, while they can get a free lunch Monday-Saturday, they can’t on Sundays. Well, unless they got a bus to a church where they had to sit through a service and a sermon for a sandwich! I still go down there on a Sunday. On week days, I go to another part of town where they all hang on corners, living under overpasses. Sometimes it takes awhile to drive around, get to the right side of the street,etc. But, it’s worth it to me. In my lunches I put a sandwich-made on soft bread (keep in mind that many homeless have bad teeth and can’t chew things like french bread, apples, etc.) a hard boiled egg, a bag of chips and either a brownie or a cookie. I have my friends collect things from hotel bathrooms when they travel and will put a bar of soap, a bottle of shampoo,a toothbrush kit in there too. Even wet wipes are good. This does not have to cost a lot of money- I get hamburger buns (soft),a package of mixed meat for subs (this was roughly $6.50 and I got 15 sandwiches out of it)sliced cheese. In the summer, because it’s so hot here, I don’t put anything like mayo or mustard on it as that can go off quick. As I said, I don’t ask for stories and I don’t judge. I am well aware that I am lucky not to be in that situation. I’ve seen drug addicts, alcoholics, Oxford educated, displaced families from Hurricane Catrina, handicapped people and menatlly ill people. They could be me!
      Good luck! If you want any more feedback-email me privately.

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  3. Hello!
    I am a 62 year old retired teacher.
    I have been sober for almost 22 months.
    I deiced to tell the world I am sober, because I figured someone in the whole world would help me stay accountable!
    No one cares that I am not drinking.
    Of course many of them feel sorry for me. Ha.
    But I am proud of my hard work!
    Thank you, and I am glad you had a nice birthday!!
    xo
    Wendy

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    1. Thank you! Good job on the 22 months! It’s funny about the people who feel sorry for you isn’t it? The longer I go without alcohol the more I realize it’s THEM that we should feel sorry for! Iwatched a table of 6 at a restaurant last night-they came to the table with Sake (Sushi place) hadn’t finshed that-ordered a bottle of wine which was poured and a bottle of Sake for the table-all very polished and sophisticated 40 soethings. And I just thought that by the end of it all, they would be shitfaced. It was almost as if I was watching a play about how to look and act in a very hep restaurant. NOT! Although, a year ago, I would have wanted the same experience.

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  4. I like your idea about the universe giving you the hint. ; ) It’s so funny how these sly little comments about drinking are such a big part of the culture. While not drinking, I am constantly noticing how often people give me the wink-wink you-deserve-a-drink thumbs up. I mean everyone! There’s a cute little gift shop in our town where they sell cool stuff but also a lot of things like dishtowels that say “Mommy needs her wine.” When I was checking out, the woman who owns the store made comment after comment about getting off work to finally start with the wine. She just knew that I was headed in the same direction. I wanted to say “I’ve already had my lifetime allotment of wine. Too bad for me.” Next time, I will take your cue and test out the waters by saying “I don’t drink anymore.” What a revelation! Thanks for the inspiration,

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