Downs and Ups

I get BBC News updates on my phone during the night (I keep my phone on silence so that I don’t hear things as come in) If I wake up in the night, I will look at my phone, usually to check the time.  Well, as you might have guessed, when I looked at my phone at 2 am on Friday morning, the news was not good.  Brexit had passed.  My SO had warned me not to wake him up unless the vote was to stay.  But, I must have commented “Oh NO!” Which woke him up asking what?  So, I had to tell him and we got up at 2:00 a.m. to watch Sky News live (thanks to Apple TV).  So, let me say that the weekend did not  start well at all!

It got worse!  I was looking forward all week to the Copa America Final between Chile and Argentina.  And while I like Chile and will say they were on fire this tournament, I’m a Argentia and a die hard Leo Messi fan.  Not only did Argentina lose, the referee was crap-and, Leo Messi missed his penalty kick!  OMG!  I was stunned!  And, even when my side wins, I always hate to see the losers crying after a game-especially one in which they’ve played well and hard.  But seeing Leo Messi crying was horrible.

I woke my SO up again  in the middle of the night with another, “Oh NO!”  He jumped up and asked, “what now!!!!??” (he didn’t get out of his PJs all day on Saturday-unusual to him and a testament as to how upset he was about Brexit) Well, it wasn’t about Brexit-Thank God!  Leo Messi retired from International Football! So, there was that.

Aside from being an Argentina fan, I’m a Spain fan (sorry Brits!)  Spain got knocked out of the Euros on Monday by Italy.

Then England went out of the Euros losing to Iceland!  Jeez!  That’s like the Dallas Cowboys losing to a High School Football team! At least Spain lost to a worthy opponent!  So, kind of a downer the past few days!

Except! I’m going to Mexico today!!!  I am so excited!  I’m going to the island that I lived on for several years.  This is my absolute favorite place in the world.  I don’t know why-it’s not the most beautiful island I’ve ever been on as far as vegetation goes.  It is on the Caribbean-which is my favorite body of water-and I’ve seen lots.  I love this part of Mexico-the Yucatan.  I love speaking Spanish. This is the place that opens up my heart and cleanses my soul.  When I can’t sleep at night, it’s the place that I picture in my mind.  It is the land of the Virgin of Guadalupe-who I have felt a very deep connection to for a very long time.  My SO is not going.  He can’t take the heat.  He doesn’t really resonate with the beach. And with Brexit, he’s wanting to hunker down as far as his spending goes.  I’ve had this trip planned for several weeks and no way was I going to cancel it.  It’s a place where I can do a lot of inward contemplation. For me, swimming in the waters of the Caribbean are cleansing and healing.

But! This is an island full of tourists.  And what do tourists like to do on vacation? DRINK Alcohoic beverages!  There is also a huge local population with drinking issues as well.  It’s tricky living in a place where lots of people do things they wouldn’t normally do on a regular basis in their everyday lives.  I know about that disparity,  having lived there for about 5 years.I was discussing this with my hairdresser-who no longer drinks and who I had a breakdown in front of at my previous appointment.  She asked what my triggers were there?  Well it’s all a trigger! I’ve been going to this island since the mid 80’s moving there in 1994.  Drinnking was always a huge part of the whole package.  Even last year, when I was still drinking and visiting there, I certainly had my share of , well everything from Margaritas to Bloody Caesars, to Beer to Vino and Vodka Sodas. (hope I’m not triggering anything here for anyone).  I can honestly say, that in looking back, I spent a lot of time running to the store for imaginary necessities in order to sneak in more of whatever I felt I needed-beer, another bottle of wine…

So, in a sense, it’s all triggers.  Especially since I’ll be on my own with no one to be accountable to. Well-except YOU!  And, I don’t want to start over.  I really don’t think I will have an issue-or one that I can’t deal with.  At the same time, I will not take that for granted.  I know that it can appear out of nowhere with an overwhelming force. But, I really want to do this sober! To experience it sober.  I’m looking at this as a Spiritual-Spa-do whatever, whenever, however vacation FOR ME!

I’ll keep you updated!

P.S.  Just now as I was writing this post, my neighbor kocked on my door.  He had kindly printed up a picture with Boris Johnson standing in front of the Union Jack and Donald Trump in front of the American Flag.  He titled it “Hair Across the Water”.  It almost made the milk from my cereal curdle in my stomach!  I don’t think I’ll be showing it to my SO!

With love.


5 thoughts on “Downs and Ups

  1. Hi FF!
    Your island trip sounds lovely!
    We went on a trip and I stayed sober. It wasn’t hard, even though everywhere we went, people were drinking.
    But there were so many other wonderful things to do, that it didn’t bother me!
    We golfed, and hiked, and played by the pool.
    Have a wonderful time!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If you get through the first few days I think you will have it licked. Just prepare for those days. Have fun observing what others are like as they drink more and more. Make it an observation game and then feel proud going to bed with no hangover. You can do this but it will definitely be different. On a positive note it should be what you want…you’ll be able to relax and contemplate things. I enjoyed getting up early and taking my walks on the beach with nobody around but the shore dolphin and seagulls. Normally I never would have been up that early.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Have a wonderful holiday ! For what it’s worth, my advice would be to take each day, each experience as it comes. Live in the moment and don’t fret about the next thing. Each time you chose an AF drink, it will get easier the next time .

    Have a great trip Lily x🌷

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ooh I really want to see some photos of the Island now. Lock up your party hormones and have a wonderful time, just the (vodka free) tonic you need after all that bad news. X


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